18 Comments
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Jane Newell's avatar

Thank you, Hal. As always, I can hear your professor voice - clearly mining for, and delivering - the gold from the experience. But most clearly, I hear Hal, the tender-hearted soul who found his way through the dark and painful loss of your dearest friend and beloved partner, Susan. The Light has, in deed, guided gou one step at a time. And without a doubt, will light the path ahead. Thank you for your courage to share your journey with us🙏❤️

Hal Grotevant's avatar

Thank you, Jane, for your kind comment. Sharing my journey is being helpful to me as well. I always appreciate seeing your comments. Wishing you the best!

Robert Andersen's avatar

Thank you, Hal

Your experiences and the wisdom gained from this major life challenge is important to share.🙏

Hal Grotevant's avatar

Thanks so much, Bob!

Christy Thomas's avatar

Powerful lived wisdom. Thank you.

Hal Grotevant's avatar

Thanks, Christy -- much appreciated.

Ed Kouneski, Ph.D.'s avatar

Hal, this is lovely, and you are a beacon of light! Thank you!

Hal Grotevant's avatar

Ed, thank you so much. You are a beacon too!

Judy Tiesel-Jensen's avatar

Thank you, Hal. Your three points rang clearly and resonated with me after the loss of my spouse almost 20 years ago. Another one that was meaningful to me then and even so now, was the thought, “grief is the paradoxical challenge of both letting go and hanging on at the same time.“

Hal Grotevant's avatar

Thanks for your comment, Judy. And so so true ---- letting go while hanging on. Life in motion. It's always good to hear from you.

Deb Grotevant Uhlendorf's avatar

Excellent!

Hal Grotevant's avatar

Thanks Deb -- You've been there for me ❤❤

Paul Wittenberger's avatar

Thank you for sharing your thoughts on grief and grieving. I love the very first point you made about facing loss: the world may look dark but there’s always enough light to manage at least that first step. And that first step sets one on the path toward healing.

Hal Grotevant's avatar

Thanks, Paul. That thought really helped me move forward --- somedays it just helped me to move. Hmmm -- perhaps you see the potential for a poem on this topic?

Paul Wittenberger's avatar

I might. Loss and grief, each are rich subjects for poetry.

Hal Grotevant's avatar

Absolutely!

Maureen Flatley's avatar

Dearest Hal, I can't thank you enough for this post. My husband is battling stage 4 metastatic liver cancer that is inoperable and incurable. Things are not likely to end well. The anticipatory grief has been overwhelming. Your insights are a life raft in the midst of this storm.

Hal Grotevant's avatar

Dear Maureen, I'm pleased to hear that you found this post helpful -- but I am so sorry to hear about your husband's cancer. That is so difficult for him and you and all your family, I'm sure. If and when the time comes, I hope you have access to good palliative care and hospice services. They were truly helpful to us, and I had not realized (and happily discovered) that they are "there" not only for the patient, but also for their family. Sending you my best, as always. Feel free to reach out, if it would be helpful.