Tradition

Christmas 2022

With Thanksgiving in the rear-view mirror (with the exception of those leftovers in the back of the refrig that will make themselves known in the new year), my attention turns towards Christmas. I’ve had numerous conversations with friends in the past few weeks about what they will be doing over the coming holidays and what is meaningful to them. What are their favorite foods? music? holiday traditions?

We usually don’t get into a deep dive about the WHY of traditions. But that’s an important question to ask, especially when family circumstances change or tradition-keepers are no longer able to play their role.

I have had some revealing conversations about my own traditions:

Music? Many many options, running the gamut from fun and cheery (Ray Conniff’s “We Wish You A Merry Christmas” album) to the deeply sacred (Handel’s Messiah; Bach Christmas Oratorio) ... and much in between.

Food? Pretty typically-American fare (turkey & dressing, etc. etc.) --- but very open to new options and new flavors.

Movies? Call it sappy, but I always experience a tug of the heart strings watching “Love, Actually.” The opening scene (or is it the closing scene?) featuring weary travelers throwing themselves into the arms of waiting loved ones in airports always gets me.

Traditions? I always listen to Lessons and Carols from Kings College Cambridge on Christmas Eve. There is something grounding about hearing the same readings each year with some of the same carols and some new ones. Even though the readings are comprised of the same words every year, I find that their meanings are like peeling an onion -- they allow me to go deeper every year, if I am open to listening.

In this topsy-turvy world, I find that traditions do provide something firm to stand on. No matter how many horrors emanate from the current regime, I will still turn to the music and the food and the movies and the traditions that remind me of where I stand.

I have also found that traditions can’t be set in stone. People change, circumstances change, some new worthwhile ideas emerge, some old ideas reveal that they are no longer serviceable.

Three decades ago, I preserved a quote from Pat Conroy’s novel, Beach Music (1995): “Stories don’t have to be true. They just have to help.”

Similarly, at least for me, traditions worth keeping are traditions that help. If they don’t help any longer, it’s ok to let go of them.

I have a beautiful Christmas tree in the basement, waiting patiently to be brought upstairs, put in its rightful place next to the fireplace, and decorated with all the beautiful ornaments that Susan curated over the years. Yes, that’s it - pictured at the top of this essay. I can’t bring myself to bring it up. I think it would break my heart, and it certainly wouldn’t help -- at least not this year. Maybe its time will come again and I will be thankful for its patience. I don’t know. And I don’t have to know now.

That’s the tricky thing about traditions. They help reinforce a sense of continuity, but sometimes that continuity is broken. The good thing is that there are no upper or lower bounds to the number of traditions one could have. Start some new ones, let go of some old ones -- but keep them meaningful for you.

If music is your thing, here is a video of the live stream from Conspirare Christmas 2024. Conspirare is a world-class choral group based in Austin, and this performance was broadcast from Central Lutheran Church in Minneapolis. (Two of my favorite cities!) Begin watching the music at 32:00 -- prior to that are sponsorship ads and introductory remarks. It’s a wonderful way to get into the holiday spirit.

I have also subscribed again to this year’s “Live from London” Christmas series, featuring VOCES8, one of my very favorite vocal ensembles based in London. They will be livestreaming 10 online concerts between December 8 - January 6. They are beautifully produced with the highest quality of musicianship and videography. You can listen to them as many times as you want during that interval. Give yourself a treat. Here’s a brief trailer:

And just for fun...

Wishing you and your loved ones a wonderful holiday season ahead.