Tears filled my eyes as I read your wonderful essay, Hal. "I"m Alive - I'm Alive - I'm Alive!" Yes, Yes, & Yes!
My first encounter with this phenomenon of lived experience was when my brother Stephen died - by suicide. The excruciating reality of losing a loved one will first kill you (I felt a major part of me died when he did)...and then, if we're willing (as Jobs & Oliver attest)...a new relationship to Life is made possible. And, I would assert, to one's Self.
This has been my experience, losing Stephen, and a granddaughter, Camryn, and a friend, Marsha, all within 6 months of one another...and many other kinds of deaths: of friendships and marriages and - the-way-I-thought-things-would-go to the-way-things-went kind of deaths - big deaths and little deaths...each one offering me the opportunity to choose LIFE! And I do, daily...sometimes in each minute (when awareness makes the choice real).
Writing and publishing my book of poetry, Love and Other Expressions of the Self, is my ode to waking up to life (God, Love & Self) after a lifetime of living with the impact of the death-of-self (identity) that resulted from early childhood familial sexual abuse. It expresses my awakening from psychological/emotional cut-offs (deaths) as a child to being fully alive as an adult!
There's something too, about this kind of awakening, it's not for anyone else - it's for one's very own Self! ENJOY!
Dear Jane, You have experienced so much - and through it all, your resilience comes through loud and clear. You are an inspiration! Your book arrived last week, and I loved reading it -- so many complex ideas woven together into a beautiful whole. But again, the resilience came through so strongly. I'm sure it felt affirming to have it all written down and made real in one place. Thanks for your comment on my essay, and I'm so glad we are connected and can be supportive of each other's journeys.
Mary Oliver is one of my very favorite poets. I appreciate the way you mine precious keepsakes from her work and weave them into your thoughtful posts. Her poems are like that icy kick in the Swimming Lesson, sending ripples across the pond that they may touch others’ wakes.
Hal, have you read Joan Didion's Year of Magical Thinking? It's an eloquent and thoughtful assessment of her life after losing her husband (and while her daughter navigated what would be a fatal serious illness.). I found it profoundly moving. As for music, someone recently told me they listened to Bach every morning for 10 minutes and that it really set her up for the day. I tried it immediately and it really works. Music is everything and this piece is extra lovely.
Thanks so much for your comment! I have not read Didion's book yet, but am definitely planning to!! And Bach, oh yes, such balm. So glad you have found the medicine as well. If you like novels about people making music and their personal relationships, I recommend "An Equal Music" by Vikram Seth. Set in the UK, it's about the relationships among members of a string quartet -- complicated relationships for sure, and all about making the best music. Wishing you all the best!
Thank you, Laurie!! I'm glad it resonated. It reverberated through me as I was writing it. I would love to borrow Dideon's book. I could pick it up when I bring food by. I was going to aim to do that this weekend. Could you DM or email me Barry's cell/text, and I'll be in touch with him to finalize logistics. You are in my thoughts this week, my friend!!! ❤❤
Tears filled my eyes as I read your wonderful essay, Hal. "I"m Alive - I'm Alive - I'm Alive!" Yes, Yes, & Yes!
My first encounter with this phenomenon of lived experience was when my brother Stephen died - by suicide. The excruciating reality of losing a loved one will first kill you (I felt a major part of me died when he did)...and then, if we're willing (as Jobs & Oliver attest)...a new relationship to Life is made possible. And, I would assert, to one's Self.
This has been my experience, losing Stephen, and a granddaughter, Camryn, and a friend, Marsha, all within 6 months of one another...and many other kinds of deaths: of friendships and marriages and - the-way-I-thought-things-would-go to the-way-things-went kind of deaths - big deaths and little deaths...each one offering me the opportunity to choose LIFE! And I do, daily...sometimes in each minute (when awareness makes the choice real).
Writing and publishing my book of poetry, Love and Other Expressions of the Self, is my ode to waking up to life (God, Love & Self) after a lifetime of living with the impact of the death-of-self (identity) that resulted from early childhood familial sexual abuse. It expresses my awakening from psychological/emotional cut-offs (deaths) as a child to being fully alive as an adult!
There's something too, about this kind of awakening, it's not for anyone else - it's for one's very own Self! ENJOY!
Dear Jane, You have experienced so much - and through it all, your resilience comes through loud and clear. You are an inspiration! Your book arrived last week, and I loved reading it -- so many complex ideas woven together into a beautiful whole. But again, the resilience came through so strongly. I'm sure it felt affirming to have it all written down and made real in one place. Thanks for your comment on my essay, and I'm so glad we are connected and can be supportive of each other's journeys.
So happy to hear you read - and enjoyed - my little book (with big ideas) of poetry.
Thanks for the words of affirmation, life-giving!
Enjoy the journey!!
Mary Oliver is one of my very favorite poets. I appreciate the way you mine precious keepsakes from her work and weave them into your thoughtful posts. Her poems are like that icy kick in the Swimming Lesson, sending ripples across the pond that they may touch others’ wakes.
Thank you, Rachel! The "icy kick in the Swimming Lesson" is such a great metaphor for her work. I very much appreciate your thoughtful reflections.
Hal, have you read Joan Didion's Year of Magical Thinking? It's an eloquent and thoughtful assessment of her life after losing her husband (and while her daughter navigated what would be a fatal serious illness.). I found it profoundly moving. As for music, someone recently told me they listened to Bach every morning for 10 minutes and that it really set her up for the day. I tried it immediately and it really works. Music is everything and this piece is extra lovely.
What a great book
Thanks so much for your comment! I have not read Didion's book yet, but am definitely planning to!! And Bach, oh yes, such balm. So glad you have found the medicine as well. If you like novels about people making music and their personal relationships, I recommend "An Equal Music" by Vikram Seth. Set in the UK, it's about the relationships among members of a string quartet -- complicated relationships for sure, and all about making the best music. Wishing you all the best!
Happiest of birthdays, Hal! Feeling alive is such a gift. Blessings to you!
Warmest thanks! I am grateful for the gift of being alive!
As am I.
Totally agree…. Music is THE best medicine. Check out Music and Mind…, fascinating and lots of research
Thanks Debbie! Is Music and Mind a podcast, or book, or ???? Sounds interesting. I'm very interested in the psychology of music.
A great big book edited by Renee Fleming!
Great! I will seek it out. I know she co-hosted an NIH conference on Music as Medicine a few years ago. Thanks for the lead!
Wow, Hal! This piece is right on. I have Joan Dideon’s book if you want to borrow it. ♥️
Thank you, Laurie!! I'm glad it resonated. It reverberated through me as I was writing it. I would love to borrow Dideon's book. I could pick it up when I bring food by. I was going to aim to do that this weekend. Could you DM or email me Barry's cell/text, and I'll be in touch with him to finalize logistics. You are in my thoughts this week, my friend!!! ❤❤