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Ingrid Verhagen's avatar

I love your essay and the reference to the excerpt from the Prophet. Thanks for sharing thus with us.

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Hal Grotevant's avatar

Thanks, Ingrid! I'll be singing the piece a week from tomorrow and it has taken over my brain!!! I'm sure you know what I mean!

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Healing With Chris Gonzalez's avatar

That poem really got me. Having children who are now 25 and 27 and parenting them for all these years, I have felt how the power I have is both massive and microscopic. "They come through you, but not from you" was particularly liberating and jarred loose a hidden lonely spots in my heart that I didn't know I had. Thanks for sharing.

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Hal Grotevant's avatar

Dear Chris, I'm so glad that you found the poem moving and thought-provoking. The first time I encountered Gibran's work was when Susan gave me a beautiful copy of The Prophet on the first Christmas we considered ourselves a couple (1967) - we were college sophomores - babies... I found his ideas to be novel, beautiful, and inspiring. If you're not familiar with the book, I'd encourage you to take a look. For starters, I think you would especially appreciate his pieces on love and on marriage.

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Jennie's avatar

Lovely essay, Hal. My parents stuck to the traditional mother/father, husband/wife roles, once they married my mother stayed home while my father worked. My mother didn’t drive and that furthered her dependence on my dad. They were both happy with that, but growing up in the 60s and 70s

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Hal Grotevant's avatar

Thanks Jennie. I suspect your comment somehow got cut off after "in the 60s and 70s," but I suspect I can predict the gist!

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Brian K Barber's avatar

Beautiful, Hal. Thanks for bringing us the deep wisdom of that poem.

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Hal Grotevant's avatar

Thank you, Brian -- wisdom indeed.

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Jane Newell's avatar

Half, I love everything about this essay.

I love that you and Susan were each mother and father to your children.

I love mother and father as a verb.

I love Kahlil Gibran's poem. It was literally the frame for my parenting 3 daughters.

And when I parented them solo after a divorce I knew - viscerally - want it meant to be both mother and father, not in a tag-you're-it kind of way, but always both and for most of their lives.

And even now, when each of them are adults and living their own lives, from time to time, I need to remind myself, " Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of life's longing for itself." Gibran's words still slay me today.

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Hal Grotevant's avatar

Dear Jane -- I always appreciate your thoughtful comments. Single parenting is so very difficult -- no one to tag-team with. No one to nudge in the middle of the night and say, "It's your turn." And yes, parenting never stops -- I guess until the tables are turned and we become the ones being parented. Honestly, I dread that.

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Rachel Farr's avatar

Thank you, Hal! I agree! And I have always LOVED this Kahlil Gibran poem. We read it at Erin and Patrick's baptism. <3 May we strive and continue to be the strongest, loving bows from which to send forth the world's children as living, loving arrows!

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Hal Grotevant's avatar

Dear Rachel, I loved hearing that you read this poem at Erin and Patrick's baptism! Such a special time to be acknowledging our roles in our kids' lives! I'm really looking forward to singing it in a few short weeks...

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Helena's avatar

Hal, a lovely essay. Moving. Thank you for a Mother's Day gift.

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Hal Grotevant's avatar

Thanks, Helena. I'm happy to hear that.

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